Daisy Eagan
(The following is a completely modified
and much longer version of an article published in the
Los Gatos Weekly-Times and the Saratoga News on
August 14, 2002.)
By Jimmy Aquino
At the age of 11, Daisy Eagan became the toast of Broadway
— and the youngest Tony Award-winner
ever — for her performance in
1991's The Secret Garden. The child star did some more
stage and screen work before taking time off from acting because,
as she writes in a Web site bio about herself, "Life was banging on my door and
saying, 'So sorry to bother you, old chum, but you really must
pay attention to me now.'"
Earlier this year, Eagan returned to the national spotlight
when her struggles to find work again —
and her frustrations with showbiz —
were captured on camera for The It Factor, the Bravo cable channel's
reality series about struggling actors. This summer, a much happier
— and employed —
Eagan is starring in the Palo Alto, California TheatreWorks production of Be Aggressive,
playwright Annie Weisman's coming-of-age comedy/drama about Southern
California cheerleader culture. Eagan plays Laura, a 17-year-old
cheerleader forced to cope with her mother's death. When the play
was first performed at Southern California's La Jolla Playhouse
last year, the youthful-looking Eagan portrayed Laura's 11-year-old
sister, Hannah. Like Laura and Hannah, Eagan lost her mother when
she was younger and has dedicated her performance in Be Aggressive
to her. The 22-year-old New York native recently talked to me
about her role in Be Aggressive, her brush with pre-Osbournes
reality TV fame during The It Factor and her plans for
the future.
What made you want to get into showbiz?
My father had been an actor a long time ago —
I guess back in the '60s. He decided that it was too much anxiety
and stress, so he stopped and became a carpenter. Then just on
a whim, in the summer when I was eight, he took a role in a play
in Coney Island, where he had been working at the time. I don't
know why he decided to do it. I had not seen a lot of theater
growing up, so this was the first thing I had seen. I remember
looking at him up on that stage and just being blown away by the
fact that he was my dad, but then at the same time, he wasn't.
I just thought that was the coolest thing. The opportunity to
escape my own self was really intriguing. That's what did it for
me.
What were your thoughts when you accepted the Tony on stage?
I don't really remember. The night was so jampacked with stuff
that my brain went on overload. I was not expecting to win at
all. I was shocked and just trying to not cry long enough to get
the words out and make sure that I thanked everybody that I needed
to thank.
Do you remember some of the actors and actresses that you
were amazed to meet that night?
I met Lily Tomlin backstage. That was really cool. I told
her that I really loved her, and she sent me a tape of some of
the stuff she did: Ernestine and Edith Ann. It was either that
Tony Awards or maybe a year afterward. I met Alec Baldwin and
asked him to dance with my sister because she was really starstruck.
He said yes, but he apparently went home because Kim Basinger
wanted to go home. I think I met Peter Gallagher, and I thought
he was really cute. I met Kevin Spacey, and I developed an enormous
crush on him. He was doing Lost in Yonkers. And of course,
Audrey Hepburn, which was overwhelming. She kissed me on the head,
and that was pretty cool. I was asked to sing at her memorial
service at the U.N. I guess it was the following year. That was
pretty intense.
It's funny: when you're in this business, especially when
you work on Broadway, you just know people. Maybe it's because
people know me because of who I am. But I run into people like
that on the street, and we just know each other. A lot of times,
people don't recognize me anymore because I'm not 11, thank God.
But we all know each other, like a little community.
How did you first encounter the material for Be Aggressive?
My agent sent it to me to audition for the main role last
summer. I read the script, and I liked it. I knew that it needed
to be worked on, and they told me that Annie was planning on doing
some rewrites during the rehearsal. I went in and auditioned for
Laura, and I didn't get it. Then I was babysitting one day. My
agent called me on my cell phone and said, "They want to
see you again, but this time, they want to see you for the 11-year-old."
They wanted to see me that day, so I didn't have time to change
into something more appropriate. I thought, "This is ridiculous.
There's no way I'm getting this role." All the other girls
at the audition were actually 11.
I was really drawn to the script because there are so few
roles written for young women that aren't patronizing, overly
sexualized or trivializing the teenage experience. To find a play
that has a young woman as the lead and takes her seriously and
listens to what she has to say is rare. It's a great opportunity.
Playing
Hannah was certainly interesting. To have to go back that far
to play an 11-year-old, especially since when I was 11, my life
was far from normal… But still, even Hannah has really important
things to say. She's taken seriously, and I think that's really
important. I hope that other playwrights follow in Annie's footsteps
and look at female youth in a different way.
Is cheerleader culture something you're familiar with or
is it a completely alien world to you?
It's totally alien to me. I grew up in Brooklyn, where we
didn't have any teams in our elementary school. I went to a performing
arts high school. We had a step troupe. It's really cool to watch.
It's got a lot more attitude than cheering does. The step groups
wear the attitude on their sleeves. The cheerleaders have the
attitude too, but their job is to be nice and cute, so all the
attitude is covered over with this façade of niceness.
That was the only kind of cheer thing I knew. To me, cheering
was always just this stupid thing that kids wasted their time
doing. My fiancé's from Alabama, and he says that it's
a way of life there. It's extremely serious. People base their
lives on it. I had no idea how rigorous it was. This stuff is
tough. These girls are being thrown in the air and tossed around,
and they have to be smiling. It's really intense. It's really
fun to watch too. But I had no idea that it was like that. I thought
it was just girls cheering for their team and doing cartwheels.
What sort of research did you do for the role of Laura?
I already watched Bring It On. I read this book called
Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls.
That was to look at… not that I've forgotten how mean kids
are… It was to look at the way girls deal with aggression
and conflict because I know that kids have a hard time dealing
with somebody whose parent is dead, and I wanted to know more
about the mentality of kids, how they treat each other and what's
important to them. It's been interesting. Girls are taught to
be nice, sweet and non-threatening, so that any time they have
any feelings that aren't nice, sweet and non-threatening, they
don't know what to do with them. We're talking about white girls.
They can't really deal with those feelings in a healthy way, so
it comes out in under-the-table ways that aren't detected by the
onlooker, but can be very harming. From the first time I read
the script, I've always seen Laura as an outsider. I think she's
very smart, and she's one of those girls who realized that in
high school, smart girls aren't the ones who are paid attention
to, or they were for the wrong reasons. She suppresses her intelligence
and instead joins the cheer squad and becomes quiet, so that she
can just blend in with everybody else. I think that she really
breaks out of her shell through the course of the play. Part of
the reason why I read Odd Girl Out was to look at those
girls and see what it is that sets girls apart and makes them
feel ostracized or alienated. When I played Hannah, I sat in on
a sixth-grade class to figure out what that's all about. I also
watched a lot of ESPN cheer competitions. I always make a character
history for myself, so that was my preparation.
You brought up kids being mean to each other. What was
school like after you won the Tony?
I went to a performing arts high school, so having a Tony
Award was the ultimate popularity tool, which worked for a while.
Then I cut my hair short after I left The Secret Garden,
and I was no longer cool. But I can say that I was at a normal
school when I got into Les Miz. I was not a popular kid.
Then I got Les Miz, and I thought, "Well, I'm in a
Broadway show. Now I'll be popular." It was the opposite.
I had to leave every Wednesday to go to the matinee, and they
announced my name over the loudspeaker and asked me to come to
the front office. It's like, "Great. Thanks, guys."
So it just made me even less popular. I could imagine that had
I gone to a normal school, having a Tony Award would not have
been the best thing. It would have been something that set me
apart even more and made other girls feel threatened. I was fortunate
to be going to a school where that was something kids were trying
to receive.
How has the TheatreWorks production of Be Aggressive
been going?
It's been going great. The cast is excellent. Could you imagine
if I'd be like, "Oh, this sucks. We all hate each other"?
From day one, we've really gotten along. We really work together
well, which is good. I have to be on stage for the whole play,
so it's a good thing that I get along with everybody. We all have
a similar understanding of what the play is, so that makes it
easier. Wendy Goldberg [the director of the TheatreWorks production]
was wonderful to work with. She is very trusting and gives the
actors a lot of space. At the same time, she has a very clear
image of what she wants. But she lets us get there on our own,
which is very valuable. It's fun to be on stage with them every
night. It's a joy and a blessing. I'm glad I don't have to go
sit at a desk every day.
Like me.
[Laughs] Exactly. At least you get to write about the arts.
What do you think of the Bay Area so far?
The weather is gorgeous. I wake up every day, and it's the
same. I passed my road test here finally. I failed twice in New
York. They'll give a license out to anybody apparently. It's so
laid-back. There's obviously a lot of money here, at least in
Palo Alto. But I like it. It's nice and relaxing.
How about San Francisco?
I like it there too. I haven't been really able to see a lot
of it. My fiancé was here for opening night. We went to
a Giants game, and I've never heard a more quiet baseball crowd.
Those people would go into shock if they came to Shea Stadium.
There's hardly any heckling. The heckling that was going on was
done by me, and then people would turn around and look at me,
so that was interesting. And it's cold up there! Jeez! It's July,
and it's like 40 degrees. But it's nice. It's very diverse. There's
lots of different things there, which is fun. I miss New York
though.
Outside of 3Com Park, was there any part of San Francisco
that reminded you of New York?
New
York is very singular. I guess, in a way, it did. There are a
lot more drug addicts in San Francisco than there are in New York.
A lot of guys stumble down the street and pass out. New York is
painted out to be this very dangerous city, and it's not anymore.
Giuliani has turned it into Disneyland. So to go to San Francisco,
which is the city of flower power or that kind of thing, and to
see this rampant drug problem…
It's not flowers in your hair anymore. Now it's hypodermic
needles in your hair.
Yeah, apparently, it is. It's just interesting. I'm so in
love with New York that it's hard for me to see anything as similar
to it.
I know you're probably sick of this question, but were
you in New York on Sept. 11?
Yes, I was. I lived in Brooklyn at the time. I was in Park
Slope, where one of the firehouses lost more than half their team.
I was sleeping, and my fiancé… he's at Columbia Business
School now… Fortunately, for some reason, the school had
taken them to Long Island on a retreat, which is amazing because
a lot of his classmates worked for Dean Witter and the companies
that were there. He called me and left a message because I didn't
get up to get the phone. He said, "You need to wake up."
Then he called right back and told me what happened. I was actually
supposed to go to a big press party that night at a hotel in Tribeca,
which was a few blocks away. My first thought was, "Okay,
well, I'm not going to that thing." It didn't occur to me
that everything would be shut down, especially in lower Manhattan.
It was unreal. At the time, I lived three blocks away from my
parents. It was Election Day, and I didn't have a television,
so I walked over to my parents' house and halfway there, I thought,
"Oh, I should have brought my ID so I can vote." It
had not sunk in by 10:00 in the morning that everything was the
way it was. So I got to my parents' house and watched with them.
At one point, I looked outside, and it was raining ash all the
way in Brooklyn, which was really horrifying. The whole city was
sleepwalking for about a week, and then, of course, we all said,
"We got to keep going. This is really tragic and terrible,
but the world has to keep turning." It's interesting: after
that, I went down to Miami to do a show, and then I went to Alabama
for Christmas, and people in other parts of the country were all
about Sept. 11. They had books on the history of the World Trade
Center and books commemorating the firemen, whereas in New York,
there isn't any of that. Most of the people who went to see Ground
Zero were tourists. It wasn't something that we needed to commemorate
or look at in books to feel like we were a part of it. We had
to say, "Okay, that sucked," and then just pick up and
keep going. It was quite a time.
Have you heard about how the TV networks are going to do
this one-year anniversary thing on Sept. 11? They're going to
do specials about this.
Enough is enough. That documentary they did with those two
French cameramen was bad enough. It's hard to be bombarded by
those images. Oh God. It was bad enough going through it.
Did The It Factor premiere before September?
No. The It Factor press party was the press party I
was supposed to go to that night. It was supposed to begin airing
on Sept. 30 and they pushed it back to January.
I've seen a couple of episodes of The It Factor,
including the last episode. There's a moment where you're at a
fundraiser and you're talking about how singing again is uncomfortable.
Have you always had stage fright about singing or did this develop
later?
When
I was younger, singing was just something I did. I never thought
about it. It was just another thing. You run, you act, you eat
your dinner, you sing. Then I became aware of people training
for their voices, and people talking about how difficult it is.
Once people start telling you it's difficult, then it becomes
difficult. Before that, it wasn't. So I started to go to voice
lessons when I was 16. I started smoking cigarettes when I was
13. I was heavily smoking and just not paying attention. I did
bad things to my voice, so I had to go back and fix myself. But
it's not easy for me. It's hard, and I don't have a typical musical
theater voice. I'm much more comfortable singing rock or folk
music than I am singing musical theater. I don't have the kind
of voice that they typically look for, which makes it even harder
because I go into the auditions automatically feeling like I'm
not what they want. I also go in there feeling like they're expecting
a Tony Award-winning musical theater actress, and it's been 12
years, and lots of things have happened between then and now.
It's different now. I hate musical theater auditions. I think
there's very little that I hate more than musical theater auditions.
I'm kind of avoiding them at this point. I'd be really interested
in doing a rock musical, a folk musical or a bluegrass musical,
but I'm not going to be Cosette.
Are you picturing something more along the lines of Hedwig
and the Angry Inch?
Yeah, that or Floyd Collins, one of my favorite musicals.
I think the music in that is gorgeous. I've thought about putting
together a bluegrass revue. I'm more interested now in doing straight
theater and film than I am in doing musical theater. I never go
see it. I don't listen to it. I'm not that interested in musical
theater.
Are you more into musical theater when it's satirical?
I love Urinetown. It's phenomenal. It's a satire of
musical theater. In some ways, it's saying, "We love it so
much, and it's so doofy." I understand that point of view,
and it's very funny. That kind of thing is definitely intriguing.
What was it like having the It Factor cameras follow
you around?
It was interesting. There were times when it was very tedious
and there were times when it was fun. I liked my cameraman a lot.
We got along really well. A lot of times, we'd end up just having
a conversation with a camera between us. There were times when
the producers' goal was to get interesting things on tape, and
my goal was to live my life, and I had to set down boundaries
and say, "No, absolutely not." But a lot of times, it
was fun. It was fun to see people's reactions to me on the street.
People would look at me and try to figure out why I was being
followed by a camera, and I just turned to them and would say
as a joke, "I'm a big movie star," or "Don't you
know me? I'm a model." I wouldn't do it again, but it was
interesting while it lasted. It'll make an interesting chapter
in my memoirs someday.
Have you kept in touch with the other It Factor cast
members?
Here and there. I knew Miranda from an acting class. We email
once in a while. Jimmy Smagula knows everybody. Everybody you
meet in New York says they're friends with Jimmy Smagula. I run
into Chelsea at auditions a lot. But we all never really hung
out anyway. We were all pretty separate. It would be a pretty
artificial reason to hang out.
Have you seen the 7UP ads with [It Factor cast member]
Godfrey?
Yes,
I have. I saw him on the street too. He's a big staaah
now.
After Be Aggressive's run ends, what are you going
to work on next? Are you going to keep busy searching for roles?
Actually, I'm not sure. Sometimes, I think I just want to
be a yak farmer. I'm currently debating whether or not to do a
play in New York. I haven't decided if I want to actually be in
it or just help them produce it. I'm auditioning for a film that
I'm really hoping I get. I've also been writing a one-woman show
that I just found a theater for, which will hopefully happen in
November or so if I get the time to write it. The curse of the
actor is always what's coming next. You sign your contract, and
your first thought is "What am I going to do next? How am
I going to pay my bills next?" But I'm at a point in my life
where I'm just trying to decide if this is actually what I want
to do for the rest of my life. I've been doing it for 14 years
now. Sometimes, I think it might be exciting to try something
else. But I don't know. Something tells me I'd have a hard time
leaving the business.
Would you prefer to do more teaching?
No. I'd be more interested in doing drama therapy with traumatized
children. I started studying that at NYU when I was there, but
I didn't like NYU. I had to come to grips with the fact that I'm
just not a fan of school in general. But if I want to do drama
therapy, obviously, I'm going to have to go back. So that's what
I'd be interested in or… I don't know. Maybe I'd be interested
in being a producer or starting a theater company and running
it.
What was bad about NYU? I'm thinking of going to their
film school someday.
Their grad school is supposed to be good. You know what, I'm
the wrong person to ask. I hated school, from kindergarten on.
Doesn't everybody?
Well yeah, but I really did. It wasn't a matter of like, "Gee
whiz, school is annoying." I abhorred going to school. Every
September, I would cry and say, "I really can't go back there."
I went to three different high schools, and then I left high school
early. I've gone to two colleges now. If I want to finish college,
it's going to be at least three, and that's before grad school.
I found NYU to be a bureaucratic nightmare. All they care about
is money. I was paying full tuition, and they never bothered to
learn my name. They were sending my parents notifications about
this and that, and I wasn't even living there. They tore down
Edgar Allan Poe's house because they decided they wanted to build
something else, and they're doing that with my money. I kind of
feel like they should at least put it to a vote since we're the
ones that are paying for them to do all this stuff. I found a
lot of the teachers to be bitter, angry and overly sarcastic with
the students, to the point of being insulting. It's like, "I'm
paying your salary. You don't need to talk to me this way."
I just got fed up with it. Also, the course guide that we choose
our courses from was hundreds of pages long. A course takes up
an inch and a half on a page, so there's thousands of courses
being offered. I would find maybe one that I'd look at and say,
"Well, I guess I could take that." I realized my heart
and my head weren't it and I was wasting money. I signed up to
take Ancient Roman History just because I thought that might be
interesting, and the first day, he's sitting there and telling
us about the tests and what papers we're going to write. I'm like,
"Why are you going to test me on this? I'm voluntarily taking
this." Yes, if I'm a classics major, you should test me and
make sure I'm paying attention. But it's not brain surgery. College
is voluntary. I don't know. I have all sorts of issues.
Sounds like you should go into reforming the educational
system.
I know. Part of me feels like I should be a politician, but
if I don't want to be in the public life as an actor, imagine
what my life would be like as a politician. But I'd love to be
able to change something about the world that I don't like.
Do a lot of your friends turn up on Law & Order?
A lot of New York stage actors turn up on those shows.
I don't have a large amount of actor friends, but yeah, a
lot of my actor friends have been on either Law & Order,
Third Watch or SV… CSI… whatever
that is.
It has an acronym. They all have acronyms.
Yeah, exactly. However, I have not been on Law & Order.
Did you always want to do a guest shot on one of those
shows?
Yeah. I auditioned for Law & Order twice when I
was 17 and had very good auditions, and then I've never been asked
back. I have no idea why. It's a scandal, I tell you. But at this
point, I don't mind. It's okay. So many people have been on it
that it's not like something elite anymore. I'm not that worried
about it.
Besides Urinetown, are there any current plays or
stage performances that have impressed you?
I haven't seen a lot. I loved Stones in His Pocket.
I thought that was phenomenal.
Did you see The Producers?
Yeah, I saw The Producers. I spent $200 to see The
Producers. It was okay. It wasn't what I was expecting, but
it was funny. Gary Beach was phenomenal. He played the big flamboyant
theater director. The guy playing his assistant was also phenomenal.
I haven't had time to see theater. We've been rehearsing until
8, 9 or 10 at night. Now, we only have Mondays off. Most theaters
are dark on Monday. I saw Noises Off. I thought it was
hysterical. Theater is so expensive in New York. It's sort of
a shame how expensive it is because it's really cutting out a
large population, which is also dangerous because you're making
theater inaccessible to the generations that we need to rely on
to keep it alive. Kids should be able to go see theater. It shouldn't
be so expensive. I'm an actor, and I can't even go see a lot of
theater because it's so expensive. Yeah, it's a tax writeoff,
but still. So I haven't really seen a lot. A lot of times, I'll
go see things if it's free.
I was checking out your Web site, and the email you receive must be
staggering.
I used to get a lot more when The It Factor was running.
I get some occasionally. Usually, they're really nice, and sometimes,
there are people who are…
…creepy.
…who don't have anything better to do with their time.
It's unfortunate. But that's what you do now apparently when you're
an actor: you have a Web site and you respond to people. I was
just thinking yesterday, that I'm sure that there have been people
who have written to me who have not expected the responses they've
gotten. I tend to be pretty upfront. Somebody wrote to me and
said he had a God-given voice like me. I wrote back and said,
"I don't have a God-given voice, but I've worked very hard
to have the voice that I have, and even now, it's not effortless."
But it's fun and it's great to know that there are people out
there rooting for me. It does help me keep going, which is important.
That archive of emails is huge. Lots of scrolling
with my mouse.
There are still things that are sitting in my email that I
haven't even put on there yet. It takes a lot of time.
Do you have any advice for child performers here in the
Bay Area who are trying to start out at about the same age that
you started out?
Yeah, I do. I have lots of advice. The number one thing I
tell all kids is to have fun. If they're not having fun doing
it, then they should not do it anymore. There's no reason to act
unless you want to do it. If somebody else is pushing you to do
it, you shouldn't be doing it. Acting needs to come from inside,
not from outside. Also, be real and honest, always trust your
instincts and also be open to direction, which a lot of kids have
trouble with. But mainly, have fun because it's such a fun thing
to do.
Are there any actors that you've always wanted to work
with?
Oh my gosh. There are lots of actors that I want to work with.
I want to work with Lili Taylor, Meryl Streep, Susan Sarandon
and Kate Winslet. I really want to work with Bill Macy. He's the
only person I've ever sent a fan letter to.
Did he respond?
Yes, he did. It was really awesome.
What did he talk to you about?
He said, "God willing, we'll work together someday."
He thanked me for saying what a great actor he was. He talked
to me as a colleague, which was really cool. There are so many
people I want to work with. The list grows all the time. There
are so many talented people out there.
© 2003 Jimmy Aquino